Here goes...
I've been here since the 5th of March.
Within this time, I haven't written anything in English other than for my professional goals, for my training, for my "pseudo" career.
I'm slowly growing in knowledge, I'm rapidly shrinking in own value and in having fun. But I think most people around me are dying even faster than I am.... cause that's exactly what it is... if you're not growing within... you're dying within... there is no money whatsoever that can make me feel how I feel when I am with my friends, having a cold beer after surfing for 3 hours with our trunks only, when Giga is in the sand digging holes for ladies to fall in and with Ana by my side challenging me for a volleyball match. No MONEY in the world!
What is life after all?
There has been many discussions over this matter... I will be honest with you all... YES, we DO WORK TOO MUCH!!! YES, we DO NOT VALUE the best things in LIFE!!! YES, in THINKING ABOUT OUR KIDS TOO MUCH, we THINK OF OURSELVES TOO LITTLE!!!
YEs, yes, yes, yes.... unfortunately, if you're brave enough to ask the RIGHT questions with no filters, then YES is probably the answer you will hear the most.
Regarding the kids part, some of you might say that I don't even have kids...! True! But if I didn't want to have a bunch of them... I wouldn't have left my comfort zone...! I would and could continue to live my precious LITTLE life which pleased me much more than the life I have now. Again, no weight on my shoulders as I want to be a parent and this is a necessary step for me, not only because I always wanted to try to do this but on a different country, and also because I could not create the proper opportunities for any son of mine like the ones I've had. And in my opinion, I have to at least give the same opportunities I've had to him/her.
I write in pain and anguish....! I'm Portuguese with pride! If anybody asks me where to go... I ALWAYS say, Portugal! If you have the money to live here.... you have the money to live there in luxury. If the flight is cheap.... everything is cheaper there than here.... weather is good, beaches are perfect, people are friendly... what are you waiting for? Go visit the country where most people left from because it's beautiful to visit but its a motherfucker to live in.
I write in anguish and pain...! I'm a sad Portuguese who is sicken by the all present clouds in this shitty country, by the attitude, by the way people think they are more than some one else, by the distance that separates me and my warm caring loving hometown, where I know the bartender, the local singer, the restaurant owner, the cleaner, the garbage man, the car washer, the pump operator, the fisherman, the lazy bastard who doesn't do anything, the workaholic who cant leave the airport, the haters, who hate their job but they survive because it's what allows their life in the Algarve. I miss my mum and her embrace...! And why is this...? Because the Euro and the politics which led us to the Euro, sank our already corrupted country into the depths of the German pockets, making it more expensive to live, to enjoy and to survive in Portugal, but made it cheaper everywhere else where the weather is shit, where people are shit, where jobs are abundant because there is not much more to do since its always raining all the time.
I wish I could... just go back home.
I can...! I could... But I wont!
I'll show these guys what my value is and I will give it a year, maybe two... to go back to my beloved home country, to my beloved city that I love so much. With so much more than money... so much cultural and economic input will certainly give me better opportunities... but not in Portugal! So... what am I doing again...? To which purpose....?
Where should I bring up my kids... ohhh well.... maybe on my second attempt to write in English... :-)
