All is nothing and the nothing gains space, my heart is slowly but surely eaten away by society and all it's expectations while I strive to find the right wave where my smile will be continuous and flowing with the ease of water as it gulps up all my sins and sorrows...
I think of what I've left in the U.S.... it was so dear to me that bliss feeling of having a corner where no judgements happened where true friendship even when threatened by jealousy was something that kept our smiles coming everyday and the will to overcome anything that stumbled in our way...
I'm afraid.... i'm afraid of not being happy for the rest of my life... how can I be afraid? The utmost vision of happiness is within ourselves and in knowing this I should find my comfort, my will, my strength, my power... instead I see your face... I watch it in every direction and no matter what I do, I cannot erase the feeling that I've forgotten my heart along the way... How could I get in touch with so many good souls that I wish I have everyday and looking back they are gone... thousand miles apart and still present in my thoughts on a constant day basis...
Shit!!! Fuck this life and the things we cannot carry with us although we really want them...
What is love anyway? When I can't find it here.... could I find it anywhere? ~Maybe that's the learning I have to go through in this life... LIFE WITHOUT LOVE!
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